Some years ago I lent a friend money to buy her family tickets to the circus, and just today, it popped into my mind that she never repaid me.

Any problem with that?

Well, yes. I lent her the money more than 20 years ago.

The money is gone.

But it still pops up sometimes as something I have to remember and fix. It’s taking up bandwith that I could use for something more enjoyable or productive. 

Money and friends is something that can be tricky, but it doesn’t have to be.

Not if you live according to these five basic rules that I will present below. 

But before I do that, I want to explain how I view money.

Money is – in my world – energy that flows through your life, the way blood flows through your body. You want to bless that flow and make sure the energy is good.

I pay my bills with gratitude, and I imagine all the good things my money is doing, as it moves through the eco-system in the world.

Let’s get down to it. Here are my rules. 

1. Only Lend an Amount of Money you are Okay with Giving Away

The truth is you might never get the money back. That is why you should never lend anyone an amount you are not okay with giving them.

The money might come back to you – or it might not. But in that case, it’s  moving in another direction and doing good. Be okay with that.

To improve the energy of the money that you lend, imagine what good the money is doing to your friend. Imagine them spending it, and then imagine the next person or business who received the money spending it. Continue like that following the money flow. 

2. Never Borrow Money – But if You do, Pay it Back Quickly   

Never borrow money from friends or relatives.

If you absolutely have to – maybe you lost your credit card – you must pay the amount back promptly because your credibility and reputation is on the line, and it’s one of the most precious assets you have.

Warren Buffett says it takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. I think that’s true, so you have to take good carer of it.  

If you pay it back promptly, you will leave a great impression of trust and reliability.   

3. Round it up

Always round it up so it’s in the other person’s favor.

If you borrowed 87 dollars, give back 90 dollars – or maybe even a 100 dollars.


Well, first of all, counting coins seems petty. 

Secondly, there’s a time value of money. There is inflation chipping away at the value, and there is also the optional value, meaning what it could have been worth in the meantime if invested.

4. Give Without Expecting an Equal Return 

Many of us carry around an inner notebook where we notice what we give and what we receive, and many of us compare the two accounts like checks and balances.

You shouldn’t do that.

Give without expecting to be gifted back in the same dollar value. In fact, give without expecting anything in return. Give because you want to in that moment.

If you don’t, you might carry around resentment – and that is a very high price to pay.

Everyone’s mind set about gifts is different, and everyone’s budget is different. Don’t expect people to think and act like you, because they are not you, and they will behave differently to you. 

5. Be Silent About Money – Unless Asked

Since you are here reading this, you probably have an opinion about spending, saving and investing.

Sorry to say, but it’s true: Most people don’t want to hear about your money. It makes them feel uncomfortable.

So don’t chat about money.

Only speak about spending, saving and investing if someone asks you directly or comes to you for advice.

If you like to discuss investing, seek out groups or friends where you have an agreement that it’s the subject you talk about. 

If you want to find peers to discuss money with, you are welcome to join my free Facebook Group Managing Money Freedom here.