I have a confession to make.

I suffer from FOMO.

FOMO is a curse that keeps me from enjoying my life and sometimes makes me miserable. 

FOMO stands for “fear of missing out.” It can affect you financially, or it can show up as a feeling of missing out on something fun or important in life.

Financially, it hits you when you’re afraid of missing out on a good investment or already feel like you’ve missed out on it. It makes you envious of other people’s good financial fortune. FOMO makes people invest in completely foolish things that they later lose money on.

In life, it affects you as a feeling that others are having more fun or more important experiences or relationships than you.

I don’t suffer from financial FOMO because I’m pretty good at seeing through bullshit when it comes to investments.

I’m not afraid of missing out on the latest hype because I have a checklist and a system that allows me to know exactly what I want to invest in.

But when it comes to life, I’m always afraid of missing out on something.

FOMO Got Worse With Parenthood

I probably always had it, but it got a lot worse after I became a mother and didn’t have the time to attend all the parties, festivals, and conferences the way I used to.

As a mother, it’s really important to be able to find peace in spending a Saturday evening watching “Alvin and the Chipmunks” or memorizing dinosaurs… even if half of Lisbon is partying on the beach or half of Copenhagen is at the street party Distortion.

My FOMO can be so bad that it almost tingles in my body unless I consciously take precautions to control it.

It’s something I struggle with and I’m aware of.

In this blog post, I will give you the best tips to combat FOMO both financially and personally.

1. Guard the Gate to Your Mind

The famous value investor Guy Spier says he doesn’t allow anyone to pitch investment ideas to him. If someone wants to “sell” a stock to him, he politely rejects them at the gate to his mind.

Such sales pitches can take many forms. They can be a so-called stock analyst’s report, an interview in a business newspaper or a podcast.

The same thing happens in life.

It happens on social media, where individuals try to sell you their “cool” lifestyle or companies try to sell you their product.

I don’t believe in the idea of deleting social media and going completely offline. That’s not the solution. It’s a bit like deciding that children should NEVER eat sugar and let them stand around with long faces at all birthday parties.

It’s about moderating, not forbidding.

The solution is to be conscious and notice how you react when you see different types of content.

For example, I can’t follow my old coworking space on Instagram because they always show beautiful pictures of parties that I’m not attending. It’s a business and they’re trying to sell more memberships, and the whole purpose of their posts is to entice you.

If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, simply stop following them or silence their content (you don’t really have to block anyone). Follow those who provide good input. There are also plenty of smart, honest, and interesting people on various social media platforms. For example, I love following a lot of value investors on social media. It gives me quality input. 

2. Prioritize and Focus

In the investment area, I know that I only need to invest in 10-12 wonderful companies, and I know exactly what criteria the company has to meet before I even consider it (you can read more about this in my e-book here).

This allows me to quickly filter out a lot of investment ideas – and once they are rejected, I no longer think about them. I stop “following” them.

You can do the same in life.

What and who is your top priority?

For me, my top priority is my family, close friends, and the work of spreading financial independence through the foundation and the blog.

It’s actually paradoxical…I can have FOMO about the different trendy parties in Lisbon, but when I’m at a party, it often feels superficial and irrelevant.

I am happiest when I nurture my quality relationships. Dinners with my best friends can give me a feeling of bliss and happiness.

Quality friendships are those where we have such great conversations that it’s like reading a really good book. It’s the conversations you wish wouldn’t end until the early morning, if possible (which is rarely the case due to children). It’s also the friends you end up laughing with until your stomach hurts.

There aren’t many relationships like that, and if I have to choose between a trendy party or a dinner with a really good friend, I will always choose quality over pizzazz.

3. Find Places of Peace

Warren Buffett lives in Omaha, Nebraska.

I’ve been there, and believe me, it’s so quiet that you hardly need to pause before crossing a main road, even during rush hour.

Most Wall Street types live in a crowded Wall Street environment like New York, London, or Frankfurt.

Buffett has said that he prefers to live in his hometown because, besides being close to family and friends, the peaceful atmosphere makes it easier for him to focus on what is important (investing). 

The same applies in life.

If you live in an area with cafes, parties, and restaurants nearby, it can be difficult to find peace of mind.

I’ve tried living on a busy pedestrian street. In the spring, I could always see people drinking rosé wine and hear them laughing and enjoying life. It made it hard for me to focus on work. 

Today, I live in a village outside Cascais, Portugal, where I mostly hear birds chirping and children laughing – and it helps me find peace.

4. Embrace the Present Moment

Last night, I had a dream about my ex-boyfriend. In the dream, I tried to help him with a task, but he didn’t want my assistance and gently pushed me away.

I have asked my dreams for help in resolving the emotional knot that I still struggle with in the relationship. I still miss him and would rather be where he is.

As we all know, there’s nothing quite like exes that can evoke a sense of FOMO. The sun always seems to shine wherever they walk.

A voice in the dream said to me:

“Find something that truly interests you and immerse yourself in it.”

We always hear about being mindful – and that is solid advice. We should all be more mindful. 

But how? I’ve tried eating a strawberry very slowly – one minute per strawberry – but I lose patience and become irritated.

Of course, you can also meditate, but I don’t always manage to do it. Yoga is also wonderful. Yet, I can practice yoga and still feel FOMO in the act.

Being able to immerse yourself in something you truly enjoy is the best way to be in the present moment.

For me, that area is, of course, stocks and investing.

It’s also tennis lessons, good movies, good books and learning to play the piano.

With my children, I love hikes or bike rides in nature. 

The trick is to give yourself permission to do something wholeheartedly while it lasts: to pause and observe the rush-hour traffic of ants that your child shows you.

And truly SEE what the ants are doing and figure out where they’re going.

5. Cultivate Appreciation and Gratitude

Every evening, before you go to sleep, you should end the day by writing down 3 things you are grateful for. It’s best if they are specific things that happened during the day.

Writing “good health” is something you can write every day, but it’s not specific – and perhaps it’s the easy way out because you’re too lazy to pay attention during the day?

What’s on my list? It’s extremely specific things.

For instance:

“Samuel’s joy over his wobbly tooth.”

“The sensation of shock in my body when I jumped into the pool today.”

“When we went for a walk and found a strange tent and heard a goat bleating.”

What are three things you are grateful for today? Perhaps this blog post can be one of them? Let me know if it has helped you.

And remember to download the e-book that can help you focus on what’s important in investing.You can download the book here.

 

In 2021, I faced some major decisions. 

I had to decide whether I wanted to open my own investment fund and whether I wanted to move to Portugal. 

To make sure I was making the right choices, I hired a coach to create a blueprint of myself and my life. 

This was something I had heard about from value investors Guy Spier and Mohnish Pabrai. 

The two famous value investors once had such a mapping of their lives, complete with an instruction guide. 

 It changed their lives.

 I was particularly taken by Mohnish Pabrai’s case. 

A Tailored Instruction Manual for a Good Life

The consultant who created the report told Mohnish Pabrai that he didn’t understand how he got up in the morning and went to work (he was an IT entrepreneur). 

The work of running a business was such a poor fit for his personality that the consultant suggested Pabrai sell his company and instead open a value investment fund. 

That story fascinated me.

Mohnish Pabrai wouldn’t be a famous value investor at all if it hadn’t been for his meeting with this coach. 

Imagine having a document that can give you guidance for making major life decisions. In fact, it’s a kind of shortcut to a good life. 

I wanted that document and coaching too. I found out who made the blueprint. 

His name is Jack Skeen, and if you ask nicely, I’d be happy to put you in touch with him. 

You can also reach out to him directly here, but please tell him that you heard about him from me. 

His process is quite special. He conducts two personality tests on you and interviews about 7-8 people who know you well. The personality test is not entirely normal. In fact, he tests you for personality disorders because he believes it can also help identify your strengths and weaknesses. 

What was the result of my test? 

I Got a “Yes” for Managing Other People’s Money

It’s a very comprehensive report, and I won’t reveal the details about my personality. But I can tell you that I got the green light to move to Portugal and open my fund, Grünbaum Value Invest (raised funds in 2022 and started investing in January 2023). 

Today, I know what my strengths and weaknesses are – and that is a great advantage. It means I can plan my life in a way that better compensates for my weaknesses (e.g., by hiring others to do certain things) while amplifying my strengths. 

 Many of the things I learned are specific to me and may not be super exciting for you to read, but there is also some general life advice that most people would benefit from following. I’ll share those with you here. 

 In this blog post, I’ll focus on the 5 most important things I learned from working with Jack Skeen that you can also benefit from in your life, so you can create a good life for yourself.

Let’s take a look… 

1. Live Life Trusting That Life Cooperates With You

Jack explained that you can live life in three ways:

A. “Life happens to me”

The first is living as a victim, where you believe that life happens to you. At this level, you don’t believe that you can create, and you don’t feel like you have much control. You live passively and wait for things to happened to you. 

B. “Life happens by me”

The next level is when you believe that you create life. Here, you believe that you have to create everything yourself, and things only happen if you “fight” for them. You see everything as a problem that you have to solve. You are often “in battle.”

C. “Life happens for me”

The third way is when you believe that life happens through you or for you. Here, you trust that there is a purpose to what happens and that you simply need to have faith in life for the good things to come to you. 

“It’s a good way to live when you experience life happening through you. Life creates new opportunities that may not necessarily require great effort from your side. Be curious and open. Keep an eye out for the possibility and add as little as necessary to participate in it,” says Jack Skeen. 

I have probably approached life with the second attitude. I’ve seen myself as the creator who had to fight for everything to happen. From creating my career to having children with fertility treatment, moving countries and even my approach to dating. 

It’s comforting to think that I can relax a bit and trust in life.

2. Keep Your Focus on the Mission

For me, my mission is to help you and others become financially independent. I do that through the blog, courses, and the Grünbaum Value Invest foundation. 

Jack Skeen reminded me again and again to keep my focus on my mission and my two children. He reminded me to avoid getting distracted by trivial matters in life. 

It may sound obvious, but I can tell you it’s easier said than done when life throws all sorts of things at you, and perhaps on the same day – you have a feverish child, a broken refrigerator, and a neighbor threatening to poison your cat. 

Every time I get frustrated with life’s normal ups and downs, I hear a voice saying, “You don’t have time to get bogged down by trivial stuff. You’re on a mission.” 

It gets me back on track every time. 

Your mission is different from mine, but you also have something that is important to you. Whether it’s revolutionizing the way we design houses, simplifying business regulations, or raising children (or maybe a combination of professional and family matters), the same applies to you – keep focus on what’s important, on your mission. 

Drop the everyday drama. You have a responsibility.

3. Conduct Research Before Making Decisions

Sometimes, I make decisions quickly – sometimes too quickly. I’m super efficient and a quick thinker. But I have to slow down in order to make really sound choices. 

Jack has taught me to approach making big life decisions the same way I do when investing in stocks (I’m pretty good with my checklist and analysis, and this is an approach I can spread to other areas in life). 

I need to slow down and do my research before jumping into anything. 

Let me give you an example: not long ago, I fell in love with a house on the coast of Portugal. It had an amazing view of the sea.

There was another bidder, and the message from the real estate agent was not to hesitate because the house would go to the other party. 

I brushed that off, and I took my time (after talking to Jack, actually):

●      I visited the house several times. 

●      I walked around the area and talked to people. 

●      I had an architect and a building expert evaluate the house before placing a binding bid. 

I gathered so much knowledge that I decided to withdraw my bid and let the other interested buyer go ahead with the deal. 

The view from the house was stunning, but the house needed extensive renovations to become a really good place to live. It would require too much time and effort from me. (Here we are back to keeping your focus on the mission.)

4. Be Selective With Who You Let Into Your Life

I am very outgoing, and I easily make new friends. 

Sometimes I have hired or associated myself with the wrong people, and it has created problems for me in the past.

How? 

It could be hiring a cleaner that has a lovely personality but doesn’t really know how to clean. Or a nanny who the kids love, but who doesn’t show up for appointments. Or dating someone who turns out not to be willing to commit to a relationship. 

 It’s also about conducting research, but researching people is a whole different process than stocks or property.

With people, it’s important to allow time and experience to inform you about the person in front of you.

Jack has reminded me that I should find people who understand and appreciate the specific mission I am on: 

“Proceed slowly, be discerning, let things grow. Find people who understand and love you and your mission.”

5. Refuse to Dwell on What Others Think of You

Most people are primarily focused on living an easy and comfortable life, but if you have a true mission, it’s not always easy. 

If you have a great idea and a destiny, it can be challenging. 

People won’t always understand you if they don’t have a mission themselves. Jack Skeen calls these people who are motivated by comfort and who have no mission in life for “vanilla ice cream people”.  

It’s about refusing to think about what other people think of you – especially the vanilla ice cream people. 

They won’t always understand you and your mission, and that’s just too bad.

His point is that you undermine your own sense of purpose if you start caring about what others think and do. 

Instead of caring about other people’s opinion, try to be in love with yourself and your mission. It elevates you to a different level. 

If you want to read more about my mission and how I can help you, you can check out my e-book “Free Yourself”. You can download the book here.